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Amazon.com   These relationship books were selected by Psychotherapist, Stefan Gonick, to help you enrich your relationships and learn more about yourself.

In addition to the books on relationships, I have also selected a variety of personal growth, heart-opening, family and children's books for your education and pleasure. Enjoy!

You can click on the picture of the book or its title to order the book from Amazon.com. Thank you.


Relationship Books

Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment
By Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks
Bantam Books

This is the single best book on relationships that I have ever read (and I've read dozens). This well written book helps us understand how we unintentionally sabotage our relationships and how to have much healthier ones. It describes exciting new ways to relate to one another that I have not seen elsewhere. I highly recommend it.

From the publisher:
Here is a powerful new program that can clear away the unconscious agreement patterns that undermine even your best intentions. Through their own marriage and through twenty years' experience counseling more than one thousand couples, therapists Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks have developed precise strategies to help you create a vital partnership and enhance the energy, creativity, and happiness of each individual. You will learn how to: Let go of power struggles and need for control; Balance needs for closeness and separateness; Increase intimacy by telling the "microscopic truth"; Communicate in a positive way that stops arguments; Make agreements you can keep; Allow more pleasure into your life.

Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples
By Harville Hendrix
Harperperennial Library

Harville Hendrix's best selling book helps us understand how we get into the kinds of repetitive relationships that we do. He describes a particularly powerful "Couples Dialog" process that is great for disarming conflict, breaking out of negative patterns, and bringing you closer together. There are several exercises where great healing can take place in your relationship and for yourself.

Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict
By Jonathan Robinson
Conari Press

This is a great little relationship book. It is easy to read and full of simple, very practical tools to help couples communicate better, create more love and have less conflict in their relationships. Highly recommended.

Special Offer From The Author: If this book isn't worth at least twice what you paid for it, you can send it back to him, and he will refund the price of the book, sales tax and shipping (he can be reached through the counseling page).

We Have to Talk: Healing Dialogues Between Men and Women We Have to Talk: Healing Dialogues Between Men and Women
By Samuel Shem & Janet L. Surrey
Basic Books

"We have to talk." For many men, these are the four worst words in the English language. But it doesn't have to be that way, argue Samuel Shem and Janet Surrey in their path-breaking and practical new book. Samuel Shem and Janet Surrey, a remarkable husband-and-wife team, challenge the popular wisdom that men and women must resign themselves to inherent differences. They outline a program of dialogues that help couples move beyond superficial harmony to genuine connection. Most popular books about relationships stress gender differences: We're from different planets, we don't understand each other, our words have different meanings, and so forth. This book asserts that we can understand our differences and get past them, replacing isolation with connection in a healthy, growth-fostering relationship. The authors call this "getting to 'we'".

1001 Ways to Be Romantic 1001 Ways to Be Romantic
By Gregory J. P. Godek and Mark Victor Hansen
Casablanca Press

Great relationships need more than just good communication techniques. They need an on-going diet of those special little somethings that keep the love alive. This book has many (1001 in fact) creative, and sometimes unusual ideas, gifts and special gestures that add spice to your relationship. Add to your repertoire with wonderful book.

Getting Ready for Marriage Workbook: How to Really Get to Know the Person You're Going to Marry Getting Ready for Marriage Workbook: How to Really Get to Know the Person You're Going to Marry
By Jerry D. Hardin and Dianne C. Sloan

This is a good book to help you explore many important questions before getting married (it's also a good book to use after you've gotten married). In fact, it's a fun and helpful book to get to know your partner better in any significant relationship.

Note: There is a bit of a Christian slant to the book, but it is really intended for all couples.

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
By Gary Chapman
Northfield Pub

Many times couples have come in for counseling and have been asked if they love their partner. Both people said "yes, very much." They were then asked if they felt loved by their partner, and the answer was no. What is going on here?

In The Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman talks about how different people express love in different ways. Some people are verbal, expressing their love in words. Others may never speak their affection, yet they show it by the things they do.

Sadly, many couples look to receive love the same way they give it, misunderstanding their partners. This can lead to quarrels, hurt feelings, and even break-up or divorce. However, if you understand each other's love languages, you can learn to give and receive love more effectively. This is an important book that is relevant to all of your relationships (definitely not just for married couples or even romantic relationships).


Internet Romance Books

Online Seductions: Falling in Love With Strangers on the Internet Online Seductions: Falling in Love With Strangers on the Internet
By Esther Gwinnell, Nancy Cooperman Su
Kodansha International

This book gives an excellent in depth look into relationships that are formed online, their causes and the results that can occur. This book is a must-have for anyone that deals with others online, whether it is romantic or platonic. Dr. Gwinnell offers valuable insight on how to pick up subtle clues about the real person that we're chatting with. She reminds us about often overlooked online safety practices, as well as how to safeguard yourself in a real life meeting. Married or single, romantic or platonic, there is valuable information in here for us all.

Romancing the Net: A 'Tell-All' Guide to Love Online Romancing the Net: A 'Tell-All' Guide to Love Online
By Richard Booth & Marshall Jung
Prima Pub

Cyberculture Expert Editor's Recommended Book, 02/01/97: This is simply the best book about online relationships that has been written thus far. Not only do you get sage advice from people who have experienced the ups and downs of such a romance, but their experiences and stories are also included. The authors never blink when relating the cautionary tales about how online relationships can go wrong, but they do so with balance and thoughtfulness. This book is compelling and beautifully written. If you've loved someone you met online, even if you loved and lost, you'll recognize yourself on these pages.


Books on Dating

25 Words or Less: How to Write Like a Pro to Find That Special Someone Through Personal Ads 25 Words or Less: How to Write Like a Pro to Find That Special Someone Through Personal Ads
By Emily Thornton Calvo and Laurence Minsky
NTC/Contemporary Publishing

This is an indispensible book for those of you who use personal ads to try to find that special someone. The book is loaded with ideas on how to write effective personal ads that stand out and get responses.


Heart-Opening Books

The Kin of Ata Are Waiting for You The Kin of Ata Are Waiting for You
By Dorothy Bryant
Random House

This is my favorite book of all time. A desperate man fleeing his life gets into a car crash and wakes up in the land of Ata. Over the course of the book he gradually learns where he is and who the people are, and we discover the land and people with him. These are very loving people who live for the "dream." I hate to say too much about the story because part of the pleasure is the gradual unfolding and discovery that we experience through the main character. It's a wonderful spiritual journey that has a lot of meaning for our real lives.

Note: The first page of the book is quite graphic and objectionable. This is intentional to show how low the main character has come in his life before he is ultimately transformed.

The Twelfth Angel: A Heartwarming Story of Belief and Courage The Twelfth Angel: A Heartwarming Story of Belief and Courage
By Og Mandino
Ballantine Books

John Harding had a high-powered career, a loving wife, and a beautiful son. He lost his wife and son in a car accident and has returned to his home town of Boland, New Hampshire, teetering on the brink of suicide. But an old friend asks John to manage his old Little League team, the Angels. Reluctantly, he agrees, and meets a hopeless player who bears a striking resemblance to his dead son--and through their extroardinary relationship, John finds the wisdom in living that he thought had slipped beyond his grasp forever....

"One of the most touching books I have ever read." --Norman Vincent Peale.

I just read this book and loved it. It had me crying many times, and I was sorry when it ended. It's a great heart-opening read.

Mister God, This Is Anna Mister God, This Is Anna
By Fynn, Anna Fynn
Ballantine Books

This is a true story about a little girl that was literally found on the streets by a fellow named Flynn and taken home to his family to be unofficially adopted. She turned out to be a remarkable little "angel" girl with amazing understandings of life, God, and people in the world. Everyone who came in contact with her was touched in a special way. This was a delightful, heart-opening book.


Family Books

The Complete Hans Christian Andersen Fairy Tales The Complete Hans Christian Andersen Fairy Tales
By Lily Faowens (Editor), Hans Christian Andersen
Grammercy

Generations of children around the world have been delighted by these truly wonderful tales. Don’t settle for popularized versions made for TV or the movies–you owe it your children, and yourself, to explore the richness of Andersen’s imagination.

How to Talk So Kids Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk How to Talk So Kids Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
By Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish
Avon Books

This is a wonderfully written and illustrated book on how to communicate more easily with your children. You'll learn how to get your kids' cooperation without arguing. Morning hassles and bedtime battles disappear when you apply the communication techniques these experts have been teaching parents nationwide. You'll learn to avoid turning simple conversations into arguments, instruct rather than criticize when correcting your child, choose effective alternatives to punishment, show your child how to make amends, allow him or her to experience the direct consequences of their actions. This is a great book.

Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too
By Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish

Another excellent book by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. With compassion and humor, the authors challenge the widespread belief that constant sibling conflict is natural and unavoidable; instead, they offer a positive approach with suggestions parents can use to teach their children how to get along with each other.

Liberated Parents, Liberated Children: Your Guide to a Happier Family Liberated Parents, Liberated Children: Your Guide to a Happier Family
By Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish
Avon Books

Can you tell that I am fans of these two? They write such wonderful, practical, easy to read books. You know the joke about your children not coming with an owner's manual? Well, this is that manual. Highly recommended.


Children's Books

Wind in the Willows Wind in the Willows
By Kenneth Grahame, Illustrated by Ernest H. Shepard
Simon & Schuster

No bedtime reading list is complete without this endearing tale of friendship. Join Toad, Mole, Rat and friends in their literary frolic and your children are sure to have dreams of high adventure. And maybe not just your children…

Sun is Falling, Night is Calling Sun is Falling, Night is Calling
By Laura Leuck
Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers

This has been a favorite for bed time reading for four years! Beautiful color in the illustrations with a very simple but affectionate story of a mother bunny tucking her baby bunny into bed. Written in a very simple rhyme.

The Very Quiet Cricket The Very Quiet Cricket
By Eric Carle
Philomel Books

A story of a baby cricket who wants to talk to the other bugs but has not yet learned to chirp. He works very hard to learn and finally chirps at the end with a real cricket sound that comes out of the book at the last page. I think you have to have the hard cover book for this sound effect. It has been great for Max to talk about how the cricket feels when he wants to talk but can’t, and how good it is that he keeps trying. Max can relate all too well to this crickets’ struggle.

Earl's Too Cool for Me Earl's Too Cool for Me
By Leah Komaiko, Illustrated by Laura Cornell
Harper Trophy (a division of Harper Collins Publishers)

A very silly imaginative story of a "regular guy" who looks at another boy Earl and thinks he must be "too cool" to be his friend. He finds out in the end that Earl is really just a regular guy too and they become friends. This has a great rhyming story with an almost musical beat. A very fun book, it also allows us to talk about friendship and looking past your initial impressions.


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